Sexual fantasies are an integral part of us. Everyone has them. Everyone! Some of them are sometimes unmentionable, so crazy or even unattainable, others are funnier or more cute, and some make us wonder about our mental health… There are as many fantasies as there are human beings. So there is a vast choice in this planetary catalogue. Should we assume these fantasies? And if so, how can you confess your fantasies to your partner without asking yourself thirty thousand questions?
When and how to confess your fantasies?
A fantasy is above all a personal imaginary desire. It stimulates you and increases your desire, your passion and therefore your desire for the other person. Sexuality is often a two-person affair (or a one-person affair, or more than two!), the aim is to share your pleasure with the other person and for your partner to share his or her pleasure with you! There are no perfect places or times to confess your fantasies, especially if you are shy. For example, at the bank, it might not be the best idea. 😅 But during a steamy session of foreplay, or right after you’ve had sex… As you’re in the mood with your partner and enter a kind of emotional and carnal trance, there’s no fear in admitting your fantasies. We’re not telling you to list them, as that will only lower your excitement. But play with your partner while telling them what really moves you, without fear of judgment. 😏
The best way to build your confidence is to reveal your respective fantasies during an erotic couple’s play session with your partner, playing with the Couple Game app. It will allow you to get into an atmosphere conducive to discussion and action.
First of all, you should know that admitting your fantasies does not necessarily mean that you will fulfill them. You are simply showing your partner that you can imagine more unusual, but not abnormal, sexual acts! But what if fulfilling a fantasy doesn’t make it disappointing after all? Many people will tell you that fantasies are meant to be pursued, that they will make you feel more complete. Others will tell you that fantasies are meant to remain imaginary and that they stimulate you because they remain unfinished.
Having fantasies is normal!
It always comes back to confidence. You need confidence to be able to confess your fantasies to your partner. Confidence in yourself, at least, and in the other person, above all. No matter what the conditions are, you will be embarrassed and ashamed to ask yourself these questions or just imagine these things that turn you on. Let’s just stop there: it’s OK. 😊 You have the right to have fantasies, whether they are simple or completely crazy. You have the right to fantasize and that’s okay. And be sure, there is a very good chance that your partner has fantasies too. Desire and fantasy are intimately linked to passion, after all.
And if your partner is reluctant to indulge your fantasies, that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you have to break up immediately either, it just means that the things that turn you on are different. Admitting your fantasies to your partner, talking about them, will always help you find a common ground that will satisfy both of you. During sex, you can always try to guide your partner through the practices that intrigue you. Thanks to the famous “let’s try this”, there will be a challenge, the discovery of new things, new sensations. And if you don’t like it after all, you can always sound the alarm and stop. And if your respective fantasies are incompatible, then save them for your solo sessions or during mutual masturbation 😉
The most common fantasies
Although there are as many fantasies as there are human beings on Earth, whether in couples or singles, some fantasies are recurrent when people are probed. These are the celebrities of sexual fantasy, the most famous and the ones that catch our eye.
- Having sex with several people aka the threesome (or more for the daring), is certainly the fantasy that is most quoted. Whether it’s two men and a woman, two women and a man, or three partners of the same sex… It’s the fantasy that intrigues the most, the one that fascinates. The exciting thing about this fantasy is that you can share your partner with another person and be shared too. But this time, it’s not cheating!
- In a public place. Doing it in a public place doesn’t mean with people watching you. And therein lies the subtlety of this fantasy. What’s exciting in this fantasy is the idea of being surprised, of discovering new positions despite you. And yes, if you are on the edge of a sink, you will certainly not be able to practice in the same way as if you are in bed. Be careful, though, because if you were to fulfill this fantasy, you should know that having sex in a public place can be expensive! This is considered as sexual exhibition and is illegal.
- Submission-domination. This is the last fantasy that comes up the most in the various surveys we can find. So, yes, let’s be honest, the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy of films has done a lot to democratise BDSM practices. But this fantasy has been around since… before! What is exciting in this fantasy is to test the limits of your body and your mind. Is pain really a source of pleasure? And at what point does it become painful? For this kind of relationship or practice, it is even more important to have talked about it clearly beforehand. You may even need to set a password or code to end a game or submission-domination session. No means no. Don’t forget that 😉
In the end, everyone has their own fantasies and an opinion on whether or not pursue them. Which complicates things a bit, we agree. But if you’re wondering how to confess your fantasies to your partner, the only thing to do is to talk about it with him/her. There will be no wrong questions, no wrong answers. Just the honest expression of two people who love each other. (damn, that’s beautiful)