non-penetrative sex

Non-penetrative sex or outercourse sex

No matter your type of relationship, it’s important to know that sex is not limited to penetration. There are many ways to experience intimacy and share pleasurable intimate moments with your partner. Where does this idea come from ? Why is it important to deconstruct it ? Here’s a brief overview of penetration in our sexual relationships.

Origins of a preconceived idea

Tradition & patriarchy

The idea that sexual relations boil down to penetration is (unfortunately) deeply rooted in our society and culture. This narrow conception of sex finds its roots in a traditional and patriarchal view, where sexuality was primarily approached from a male and heterosexual perspective.

Natural & complete act ?

Vaginal or anal penetration was considered the “natural” and “complete” sexual act, while other practices were often relegated to the rank of so-called “foreplay” acts. 🤷 To translate : the things that happen before/in anticipation of the real sexual relationship that would be penetration. This reductive view has long been reinforced by taboos, social norms, and even some religious or medical discourses.


Fortunately, this limited conception of sex has been challenged over time, notably thanks to feminist and LGBTQ+ movements that have greatly contributed to broadening our understanding of human sexuality in all its diversity. 🌈 And above all, making it more visible. Sex is a rich and multidimensional experience that is not limited to a single act or form of expression.

Non-penetrative sex : Origins of a preconceived idea

Sex ≠ penetration

Sex is not limited to penetration. ❌ Although this practice is common and enjoyed by some, it is therefore not a requirement for a fulfilling sex life. NO, NO, NO ! There are many other ways to explore your sensuality and share intimate moments. YES, YES, YES !

4 alternatives to penetration

1. Dry humping

One well-known alternative is dry humping or frottage. 💞 This practice involves rubbing against each other, clothed or not, to create pleasant stimulation and friction. It’s an excellent way to have non-penetrative sex and explore your sensuality. The excitement with this practice reaches very high levels…all the way to orgasm! 🥵

Non-penetrative sex : dry humping

2. Mutual masturbation

Another alternative is to pleasure each other through mutual masturbation. 💞 This can involve caressing, massaging, manual or oral stimulation. Communicate openly with your partner about your preferences and boundaries, and focus on mutual pleasure. This alternative can be done with the idea of slow sex to slowly build desire or with the idea of quickie sex to make your partner explode with pleasure ! 😍 It’s up to you !

3. Non-penetrative sex, oral sex ! 🤷

Oral sex is a very…practiced and very…appreciated practice. 👄 Whether it’s cunnilingus, fellatio, or anilingus, it can be an intimate and pleasurable experience. Don’t be afraid to explore this alternative by communicating your preferences. Or if you’re curious to check out our articles on the nipplegasm, for example.

4. Erotic massages

Whether in the context of an elaborate role-play (masseuse-client) or in a moment of tenderness, erotic massages create deep bodily intimacy. 💆 With hands, oils, or other accessories, they can be a sensual and relaxing non-penetrative sex experience, with LOTS of pleasure !(Especially if you include the 3 previous alternatives in the experience ! 🤭)

Erotic massages

Exploring these alternatives to penetration can open you up to fulfilling intimacy and a deeper connection. Remember that non-penetrative sex, or penetrative sex, is a unique experience; there is no right or wrong way. Communicate, respect boundaries, and enjoy these moments of shared pleasure. 💞

Consent and pleasure above all (quick reminder)

Beyond the different alternatives to penetration, it is essential to emphasize the importance of consent and mutual respect in any intimate relationship. 🤝

Penetration, although practiced by many couples, can be painful or unpleasant for some. It should never be considered an obligation or an end goal.

Let’s reread this sentence, as it is important: it should NEVER be considered an OBLIGATION or an END GOAL. 😌

Everyone has their limits

Every human being has the right to define their own sexual boundaries and preferences. Some may find penetration deeply pleasurable, while others may find it uncomfortable or even painful.

It is crucial to communicate openly with your partner, listen to their needs and desires, and respect their choices without judgment or prejudice.

Image representing everyone's limits in non-penetrative sex

A fulfilling sexual relationship is based on mutual pleasure, enthusiastic consent, and respect for each person’s boundaries. ❤️ Never be afraid to express your preferences or reluctance, and be attentive to your partner’s non-verbal cues.

Have fun ! 🤩

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