Now that we gave you some tips on how to confess your fantasies to your partner, we’re going to talk about a subject that is considered taboo by some people: anal sex. First of all, you should know that there is more to anal sex than just the practice of sodomy. Because the anus, like the other sexual organs (vagina or penis), is an organ that gathers many nerve endings. So potentially, just as much pleasure. Every human being is different when it comes to pleasure and the way it is provided by. It may not even bring you any satisfaction. And yes, that’s even possible 😉
A short introduction to anal sex
In the collective imagination, anal sex is often considered as a violent, brutal and often forced practice. Yet, despite this negative representation sometimes reinforced in pornographic films, sodomy (for example) is the opposite of this image. In fact, it is practised with kindness and confidence. Why is this so? Because the muscles of the anus are strong! So to release them, you need to be relaxed and confident. Your partner must have the desire for a shared pleasure, far from a selfish enjoyment. For the first few times, the use of a lubricant is strongly recommended. And penetration should be done gently, slowly, with kisses and words of love. You must help each other in the discovery of this new pleasure zone. 🥰
In the same way as during the first time, there will not necessarily be a gigantic orgasm! It may take time for this pleasure to evolve, so do you. So it’s best to go slowly and little by little. Communication is essential. Set up a safe word and safety gestures to let your partner know if their can continue or should stop.
If you are not quite ready for anal sex yet, learn about anal training. There are several practices other than anal sex that can make you feel more comfortable and comfortable with anal sex: anilingus (licking your partner’s anus), putting a finger (or more) in, or using sex toys. To learn more about how you can prepare yourself physically and mentally for anal sex, this training consists of testing different levels of penetration to relax and accustom your anus to dilation.
This can be done with your fingers or with sex toys. There are several variations: plugs, geisha balls, rosaries and finally dildos, which are penis-shaped sex toys. You can use them during foreplay, some can even be worn discreetly during the day! 💦
5 Steps and tips for anal sex
When do we start?
From a health and hygiene perspective, penetrating your partner’s anus is not a risk-free exercise. In addition to the presence of germ-carrying excrement, you should know that the rectum is irrigated by a large number of very fragile blood vessels, which makes it a more favourable point of entry than others for contamination by various sexually transmitted viruses (HIV, hepatitis, etc.). It is therefore essential not only to check that the rectal ampulla (where excrement is stored) is empty before the act itself, but also to wear a condom.
For men, be sure to ask! The preparations for anal sex are more advanced. Whether you are homosexual or heterosexual, there are major precautions to take. However, rectal enema is not recommended when sodomy is a one-off practice. This is because your anal flora is a natural protection against viruses and other bacteria. If, in spite of everything, you want to have more peace of mind and be more at ease with your partner, you can do an anal washing to clean yourself. To do this, you will need to get a small anal douche.
Preparing mentally and physically for anal sex
As mentioned earlier, the anal canals are muscles that are designed to close the anus as tightly as possible. They work a bit like one-way valves. This is why it is extremely difficult to perform anal penetration, as it goes against the natural direction of function of these muscles. Moreover, they have a reflex mechanism of closure by tensing. This means that in case of stress, panic or even nervousness, this part of the body tends to contract. To make penetration possible, you must therefore be particularly relaxed and unstressed. It is well known that telling someone to “relax” will not help.
Some solutions to help both of you relax: a general or localized massage, light caresses on the butt and in the anus area. Of course, we advise you to talk at length with your partner when both of you are on the same wavelength, whether during playing one of the bests erotic games for couple, or before the act 😉
Indeed, there are several good times to bring up the subject of anal sex and its practice with your partner. Whether it is before an intercourse, when you are in a phase of sexual excitement, during foreplay or simply after you have made love (debriefing is important)… The goal is not to force your other half but to expose your arguments, and thus, your desires. Whether it’s out of curiosity, because you want to try other practices, or out of interest, because it’s a practice that you like and that you would like to make him discover! Anal sex, we can never say it enough, can be a source of pleasure for both of you! Be careful, if you want to convince your partner, you must not put pressure on them, at the risk that they may become resistant. Reassure them by talking to them about articles on the subject (like this one).
Lubricant, a precious ally!
For women, unlike the vagina, the rectum does not produce natural secretions (a.k.a. the wet) that facilitate penetration and the coming and going. A lubricant is therefore essential! The addition of a lubricant is totally indispensable. Sodomy without lubrication is a painful and quite barbaric act. It is certainly because of poor lubrication that the majority of those who have tried this practice do not recommend it. You can never use too much lubricant. However, be careful with the lubricant you choose. It must be adapted to the person receiving the penetration and to what is going to penetrate her (sex toys, fingers, penis…).
Penetration, progressive and careful
Although this is the key act, penetration must be done slowly and very gradually. Little by little, step by step. Whether inserting a finger (or more), a sextoy or a male sex, each advance should be gradual. It is important that your partner asks you if everything is going well and if you are comfortable with each new step.
If not, don’t be afraid or ashamed to say no. Especially since it is highly unlikely that your partner will be able to insert a sextoy or penis in its entirety on the first attempt. So, as it will take time, you need to be on the same page with your partner. More often than standard sex, take your time and learn about each other’s bodies, and their reactions to different stimuli. If your partner forces you, stop everything instantly. 😤
What happens next?
Once there has been anal penetration, with fingers, a penis or even a sextoy, your partner should never move from your rectum to your vagina, mouth or other sexual organ directly. Really, never. It is normal and recurrent for poop to remain on the sextoy, fingers or penis during this practice. Don’t worry, this is perfectly normal. There is no shame in this, it is natural. If your partner was using a condom on the sextoy or on her sex, then it is imperative that you change it. If there was no condom, then the whole thing should be cleaned.
Indeed, one of the aspects to take into account during sexual intercourse is STDs and their transmission. It is quite possible to get an STD if you go from anal to oral, or genital sex,… without changing your condom. Safety first! Remember to get tested!
Once you are used to anal sextoys (and if it gives you pleasure of course), you can create a game with your partner. Like buying a vibrating connected sextoy for example! You’ll wear it every day, leaving it up to your partner to decide when and where you get pleasure! Finally, anal sex is a bit of a party!