Dating apps often feel like ruthless arenas. Everyone is in competition and you have to survive to achieve your goal: find your soulmate. However, this is not always enough! And this, despite all your will and a perfect profile. Inevitably, after a match, it is from the first messages that many decide whether the conversation will go further. All it takes is a first message for a relationship to be over before it even started! How sad ! 😫
To avoid this situation, you have to stand out. That’s why we’re going to give you the best original questions to start a discussion on a dating site!
Before sending your first message, keep in mind the following basic rules that will increase your chances of getting a response and creating a link with your match!
4 basic rules before sending your first message:
- First of all, don’t overdo it! Be natural. You don’t need to write him a poem or flatter your match too much. You only risk one thing: to scare him away!
Of course, the classic “Hi, how are you?” is not enough! Make an effort, without being a boring.
- Don’t be too formal, you’re not at a job interview! You don’t need to give him your resume or cover letter. On the other hand, we agree, this is also not a reason to contact him by insulting him. Stay pleasant and polite, while thinking of an opening if you hope for a response to this first message. 😉
- Do not forget to put in this first message some details about him or an original question, but no more! The goal is not to harass your crush, to show you know everything about him. Show him that you care about his whole profile and not just his photos! Physical attraction is one thing, character and psychology are another. Read his profile is our best advice!
- Last rule, but which is certainly the most important: pay attention to the way you write. Your spelling especially, because it is prohibitive for the majority of registered on the dating sites! Here, we are not even talking about originality and creativity. But respect the basics: spelling, syntax and a minimum of vocabulary. And if you have problems with spelling, consider the automatic corrector! In any case, proofread and correct your mistakes before clicking on the send button.
In summary: have an irreproachable spelling or almost, be natural, effective in the approach and prove to him that you are interested in him. Now that it’s seen, let’s move on!
Some examples of the best original questions for a first message to send on dating sites!
Make a Pop Culture reference!
“Hi! If you could wake up tomorrow with one power, what would it be? (What, me addicted to superheroes? Not at all! 😉 )”
Quote a famous film, series or song… If your match recognizes the reference you made, you can then start a conversation about your respective preferences on this subject! And if your match doesn’t know, he will be intrigued and all you have to do is to introduce him to your universe!
Ask a question with a fun dilemma
“Would you rather have a Pinocchio nose or Dumbo ears?”
The game of impossible or absurd dilemmas is the best way to break the ice with someone. The “Would You Rather” game allows you to ask original questions to start a conversation! Faced with these kinds of questions, for sure, your match will laugh. It’s a rather original way to get to know each other! 😎 And if ever a dilemma like this seems too personal or too wacky, you can always change for a smaller version of the genre: “Are you more Netflix & Chill party or drink & dance all night?”
Find a common passion seen in the description!
“I confess that I love watching cooking shows on TV. But I still can’t master the cooking of the soufflé! A little advice ?”
With this first message to make contact on a dating site, you place yourself where you are not expected. The others will certainly highlight the physical aspect of your match, it’s time for you to make the difference, once again! 💪 Find the touch of humor or the common point that unites you directly in his profile description. This is exactly what will create attraction and captivate your match.
Find a striking detail in their profile pictures!
“Does your cat know he’s on this app? You risk legal proceedings without his consent!”
If your match has a photo with their pet, don’t contact them to ask their name… 🙄 Everyone already does. You won’t stand out!
Indeed, if your first message is: “What is his nickname?”. You have a good chance of being rejected, or even worse that we leave you a view. Find original questions to ask! The best technique is therefore to initiate a touch of humor concerning this ball of hair (or feathered animal, or even scaly! We leave no one behind 😎). Your match will inevitably smile when reading this!
You have no ideas of approach, so might as well try!
“OK, we matched… But concretely, what do I have to say here? 🤔 “
You play the card of simplicity, while standing out from the others. Who would send such a catchphrase? Nobody ! You have to be crazy to shoot yourself in the foot like that.
But hey… You’re struggling to send the perfect first message… Come on, everyone in the same boat! There is no reason for you to be the only one in this case! And at worst, offer him a date directly! Until then, you will have time to think about the best questions to ask on a first date!
As you can see, striking up a conversation on a dating site is not an easy thing. You have to be creative by asking original questions, while remaining sincere and honest. For the timid, it is all the more difficult. But tell yourself that you are on these dating sites to meet people and find love! 😊 So you have to start at the risk of missing out on a nice meeting and a beautiful love story.